Emotionally Intelligent Parenting by Maurice J. Elias Ph.D

Author:Maurice J. Elias Ph.D. [Elias, Maurice J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-78895-5
Publisher: Harmony/Rodale
Published: 2011-05-18T00:00:00+00:00

1. Repetition of the Keep Calm steps out loud, with the parent prompting use of each step individually.

2. Repetition of the Keep Calm steps to oneself in a whisper and using the entire procedure when prompted.

3. Silent and spontaneous repetition of Keep Calm by the child (and parent).

4. Reminders to use Keep Calm when Trigger Situations come up or are anticipated.

Here are examples of how to practice all four stages:

1. Have the family read the Keep Calm steps out loud. Then have the family engage in a physical activity (such as jumping jacks or running in place). After one or two minutes of activity, say, “All right, let’s use Keep Calm. Say ‘stop’ … say ‘keep calm’ … take a deep breath through your nose while counting to five, hold it to a count of two, breathe out through your mouth to a count of five. Are you starting to feel calm?” (As necessary, repeat Keep Calm.)

2. Use a similar physical activity, except start the children by saying, “When I say ‘Now,’ use Keep Calm to calm yourselves down. Say the Keep Calm in a whisper. Look at the poster if you forget the steps.”

3. At the third stage, when the children are getting a little wild, ask them to use Keep Calm silently. Develop signals or cues for the children to use to tell you when they are calm.

4. It is important for adults to continue to prompt the use of Keep Calm when a child is upset or beginning to lose control; it can also be used prior to tests, school plays, or any other anxiety-provoking or Trigger Situation. (For older children, situations such as school dances, job interviews, and peer pressure to try dangerous or antisocial actions are times to use Keep Calm.) Bedtimes and family meetings are good times to review children and parents’ use of Keep Calm and how they might have done an even better job. The more children are prompted to use Keep Calm and other social problem-solving strategies, the more quickly they will master them.

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